Speaker: 0:01

Welcome to the Heart-Led Business Show, where compassion meets commerce and leaders lead with love. Join your host, Tom Jackobs, as he delves into the insightful conversations with visionary business leaders who defy the status quo, putting humanity first and profit second. From heartfelt strategies to inspiring stories, this podcast is your compass in the world of conscious capitalism. Let your heart guide your business journey.

Tom Jackobs: 0:34

Welcome, listeners to the Heart-Led Business Show. Today, we have Erin Gray, a former certified financial planner turned intuition igniter. With over a decade of experience in her family's water and wastewater construction business. Erin has traded checklists for chakras, transforming her relationship with money from a turbulent tide to a tranquil stream. Join us as we dive into heartfelt conversations on embracing intuition and empowering female entrepreneurs to surf the waves of financial freedom. Erin, welcome to the show.

Erin Gray: 1:11

thank you, Tom. It's fun to be here.

Tom Jackobs: 1:14

I'm excited to dive into your story, going from wastewater to intuition, that's a switch. But first what is your definition of a heart-led business?

Erin Gray: 1:25

I think it's two parts. First and foremost, it's a feeling. I came from the 3D logical world very cerebral and have transitioned, there's parts that need to be cerebral, but more so how does it feel in your body? Does it feel fun and expansive. When I say ease I don't mean easy but easeful it comes from a place of, it's an internal thing, not an external thing. So from a place of love, compassion, service, expansion, intuition, creativity, honoring and serving others first. Being in line with our values and then profits as a by product, but not as the number one thing that drives the ship or boat or car, whatever.

Tom Jackobs: 2:12

Awesome. I love that definition. The growth and accepting abundance a really good definition of a heart-led business. And then the alignment with values, what you said about ease, it feels at ease, not necessarily easy. You feel at ease tell us where you came up with that. I'm sure there's a story behind it being of ease and maybe before you weren't at ease in wastewater, maybe.

Erin Gray: 2:38

Yeah, for sure. we have to have contrast, right? To recognize what we want if I wouldn't know what ease felt like, unless I felt struggle, it just felt like I wasn't in tune there's the book zone of genius versus zone of excellence. I think it's with Guy Hendricks. I think it's what it's is the author and he talks about, your zone of excellence versus your zone of genius. when I was in my family's construction business, that was very much so zone of genius. Excellence for me. I am really good at numbers like finance. Financial planning is my background. I came to, help my dad with some minor things in the business. And then I got in and I was like, we really need to make a lot of changes here. And I dove head, head first into it. And I am grateful for that. Experience because I learned so much not many people can go into a 30 year, in the making company and have complete access to everything and understanding. And so that was a very, what I call, not ego-led, but very 3d model, right? Making money, helping clients, but it wasn't obviously intuitive based. It wasn't any of that. My dad and uncle didn't operate from that place having been on that side of it to then be now what I do is that was helpful because how would I have known that isn't what I want unless I actually experienced it? So after 10 years of lots of changes, lots of growth, recognizing I did not, I could have bought the company, but that would have been an ego-based choice because it would have been because it was. Already there. And it's just what, my dad wanted me to purchase it. My grandfather started the company, but I knew in my heart that was not something that I wanted to do. That would have been just so I can continue to make money and have my lifestyle and things of that sort. So really recognizing like that my heart wasn't in it. If I did it, it would have been first solely because of ego reasons, not because that's what the heart wanted.

Tom Jackobs: 4:49

That's amazing, it mirrors many guests I've had on the show myself included, I had a fitness business for 10 years near the end of it just. It was easy, but I wasn't at ease because it was, it just wasn't my passion anymore. And the passion was, coaching and sales coaching and helping people build their business through sales, especially in the last couple of years with the heart led in the selling with heart book that I have out now, it just, it felt so in alignment and it just felt good. And I hadn't had that in the longest time, like when I first started the fitness business, it was there, but I'm a serial entrepreneur. So I have to have that nice ease of feeling. Do you find other entrepreneurs are doing that as well?

Erin Gray: 5:34

In my practice or just other people that I've talked to, I think for sure in the business world, we're changing, I think that the old way of doing business doesn't work anymore. It doesn't feel good. And I think people are really starting to question, I think, 40 years ago, making money was that highest vibration, right? That was where we were. But now that we've gotten to that place, what's the next vibration up? And that I think is like doing work you actually love, not doing work to make money, to then retire, to then go do something that you love. I think we've gravitated to, no, I want to enjoy and do work that I love and serve people and make a lot of money doing it. I think that's the vibration that we're at. And so I have, seeing that with clients, seeing that just in the business world, obviously for myself, other people that I talk to.

Tom Jackobs: 6:22

Yeah. It's funny, I'm up there in age but my parents, always had the, work for 30 years, you'll retire, you'll get that pension. And we just grind it out for the 30 years work for one company, even 20 years ago when I started in the workforce, I was like, 30 years at this company. Are you crazy? Like, why would I ever do that? And it was work, then take a vacation. now I'm always on vacation. It's amazing.

Erin Gray: 6:47

Yes. Take traveling is one of my most favorite things to do, but it doesn't feel like work when I come into my office. And that is what it felt like when I used to work for my family. Business, someone asked me on another podcast. How do you help people flip the switch when they go on vacation? if you're full of stress anxiety and rushing you can't just flip the switch for a week. You can, but it's not sustaining. And so I think a lot of people are recognizing that and they're thinking like, the pot of gold at the yellow brick road at the very end, I'm being sold. I felt like I was sold a bill of goods. I had checked all the boxes and wasn't fulfilled. So we know money doesn't make you feel another way. And I know that people might want to argue and be like money does matter. Yes. 100 percent money matters. Absolutely. I'm not saying to not take care of your money, but if money is the only thing that you are chasing, there's You're missing out on 90 percent of the rest of, enjoyment in life because there's lots of people, which this used to be me, that have a lot of money that were miserable, that are miserable. And so it's really recognizing, slowing down and asking yourself, what kind of life do I want to have? What are my values? Abundance isn't just money. Abundance is, you know what, when my daughter is like, Hey, I, need you to come pick me up from school. I want you to go to my what are they called?

Tom Jackobs: 8:11

Recital

Erin Gray: 8:13

Field trips. When my daughter wants me to come to field trips that I'm able to go, being there for her and being present is an important part of what I do. My life and abundance. It's not just money.

Tom Jackobs: 8:26

Tell us about your business now and what inspired you to start this heart-led business of yours.

Erin Gray: 8:33

I think the fact that I recognize because I have been in that more 3D cerebral world of finance and in the construction business, finance and money was just always something that we talked about and did and it wasn't really That's just what you do. And when I decided to start coaching I really recognized that there was a lot of women that did not have a good relationship with money. I don't ever want to be in a position of what my family experienced. So that was my driver, but I was good with my money. I knew how to invest my money. I knew what to do with my money. I was okay with that. But there are women that Are don't feel confident with their money. They outsource their decision making to their advisors. They think that other people know better than they do and really empowering them. Like I always say, like the world could use more women that have a lot of money that here you go back to heart-led that want to do things that are changing the world. And we need money to do that.

Tom Jackobs: 9:34

So your coaching, in what type of coaching is it that you do?

Erin Gray: 9:37

Ask me that question in a different way.

Tom Jackobs: 9:39

What is your coaching specialty? business coaching, life coaching, or a combination?

Erin Gray: 9:44

It's a combination of both, using human design to help them tap back into their intuition. I think a lot of us have been very conditioned to, like I said, to outsource our decision making so they don't know how to make decisions with money. You've heard, the Dave Ramsey say, you're supposed to save this way, or you're not supposed to spend this way or, and they're like, that feels so restrictive to me. And so really asking them what are your values? What do you want to create for your life in your business? And then doing that. So it's a little bit of business coaching getting into the numbers and really looking at forecasting and doing some of that stuff that they don't typically do. A lot of times the CPA is just Oh, it's the end of the year. no, we need to be doing this. June, July, planning. And then how we are with one thing, we're that way with everything, it shows up in their personal life too.

Tom Jackobs: 10:35

Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. And the whole like money philosophy for people, especially heartled business owners they really struggle with the money. So what advice do you give to have a better relationship with money?

Erin Gray: 10:50

First and foremost, you have to start with awareness what are your patterns like? And what are your money stories? A lot of the women that I have helped, they almost push away Oh, I don't want to be like that. Like which most of them are wealthy, but they don't see it that way either. So it's this idea of Ooh, but when you're like that with money, you're pushing that away. And so what is your relationship like with money? Do Speak lovingly to it or do you see someone that has something that maybe you want and then you immediately judge them. And I always say, start with awareness. And then all, obviously what I've noticed with women is a lot of times they don't feel safe in their body with money. So there's a lot of somatic work. That we do because when you view money as a perceived threat, you aren't going to sit down with your money. You are in fight, freeze, and they may not recognize that. It shows up as avoiding being hypervigilant or, ignoring and not doing the things you need to do. And then they come up with reasons like I'm lazy. And it's you're not lazy. This is actually you don't feel safe with money. So really starting to pick apart. What are those money stories? What do you feel when we talk about this? How do you feel? How are you breathing? What are some of them, a lot of them cry. It's there's stuff there that you have repressed that you may not even know, and that needs to come out to move through this.

Tom Jackobs: 12:17

It's like the stories we have about money. I was at a conference last year and they had us do a little it was a little retreat. There was like 12 of us there. And he had, the moderator had us do a little exercise where we had a conversation with money. And then money had a conversation with us. So we just, we flipped the roles and it was so interesting just what came up and it was fascinating that we had very similar kind of speech that we had to give to the money and it was, we both realized we had the same kind of money stories of flip flipping through our head.

Erin Gray: 12:54

Yeah, a lot of people do, and I've noticed a lot of women do, when a client sits down I'm like, you're the umpteenth person that has said this to me, you can see them visibly relax they carry so much shame and guilt, they think they're the only ones going through this. I'm like, this is. U. S. wide, worldwide. I've traveled all over the world and people have very interesting relationships with money. I would start with do you even believe in a relationship with money? Because there have been some people that when I asked them that, they're like, what do you mean? and so starting there what do you think about money? How do you feel when I say money, what happens in your body? if I were to say, this tissue box on my desk, what do you feel but the moment I say money, what comes up?

Tom Jackobs: 13:35

Interesting. are you finding that generationally there's a difference? So the generation today that's coming up versus, our parents that may have gone through the depression or certain hardships do you find Those money stories trickled down, or is it changing generation to generation?

Erin Gray: 13:53

I typically help women in their forties and beyond. And I have always said that I think that there is that generational trauma that we have because a lot of our parents were children of, if they're in the US of the great depression and that impacted the way that we grew up and had a relationship with money. And so that they present very similar to someone who. Was in the great depression because they have been parented by somebody that was like, save your money. You never know what's going to happen. A lot of fear based thinking. And so really extrapolating and pulling that onion apart to get to going back to what I said, right? it's safe to have money. It's safe to spend your money. It's okay to enjoy it now. we don't have to save it all for the future, it mimics Great depression.

Tom Jackobs: 14:41

Yeah. Now, do you find that it is changing though in terms of the further we get away from that thought process, or is that generational trauma just carrying down still?

Erin Gray: 14:53

I think so, based on my clients, it feels like it's trickling down. Those are the people I typically help. I don't know about, like twenties and 30, if that's changing. But, and here's the thing, it doesn't matter if they have a lot of money. Most of the women I work with do have a lot of money, but even if they don't. It's still this poverty mentality. whether you look in their investment accounts, you'd be like, you're totally fine. They feel in their body, like they don't have enough money. It's that very scarce mentality. Which that's what I experienced. Fascinating that's who I attract. then, I'm able to help them. a lot of people that maybe do not have a lot of money think that people that have money have just this abundant mentality. And a lot of times what I've noticed, they've gotten to that place because they've been so scarce in their thinking. And I don't know about twenties and thirties, but I know for sure the women that I've talked to, it's a lot of can't afford it. It's too expensive.

Tom Jackobs: 15:52

Yeah, that's fascinating. my family was very secretive about money never knew what dad made, in terms of income, never knew what mom made for income, we would, Obviously we didn't have, not obviously, but we didn't have a lot of money growing up. We were like lower mid class, I think. But, there was never like this discussion about how to save, how to, or what we were saving as a family or things cost. But whenever we needed something, and my father always made a big distinction between need and want. But whenever we needed something, they always found the money for it. Which is, I always thought Just interesting because we were all musicians growing up and I played violin, my older brother played violin and my middle brother played cello. as we got better and better, we were getting better and more and more inexpensive instruments. I think my last instrument we had to pay three or 4, 000 for and this was like back in 1980. So we never talked about it, and that informed my relationship with money as well in terms of I don't know, I just put it on a credit card, somebody's going to pay for it, and it early on I got into trouble with that, but, luckily I found mentors that like yourself, that help people with money and realizing those money issues.

Erin Gray: 17:11

My dad has always been entrepreneurial and, I had a poverty conscious mentality my parents fought a lot about money. even though they had money in my dad's mind, it was never enough. money is a mirror to ourselves, what we think about money, if you were to ask yourself, what do you feel about yourself? Those answers will be very similar. For a lot of women they had that poverty conscious scarce mentality growing up. And for some of them, they did talk about money for some of them. They're like your parents, same thing. It's they never talked about money. And I always also say to clients, too. Whatever experience you had, there has been a benefit you could look at my story and think gosh, Erin, you really have had some deep, seated issues with money, but it allowed me to save at a very early age. It allowed me to take time off. I encourage people to look at there was, there is a gift in your parents, saying that they could always find the money. And yes, there's those parts that we still need to work through, right? Like just charging on a credit card and being, not mindful about it. Okay. That's not a, that's not great either. But that belief that like money's always coming to me is a belief that I've had to work to get to where you just started at that baseline.

Tom Jackobs: 18:24

I always wanted Nikes, but we got Keds. And it didn't always work out that way, but but it was a good lesson, for sure, in terms of how to think about money or just being prepared for the needs that we have as a family, which is interesting. The other question I have for you is, as we look at the, what I perceive as an increasing disparity between the ultra wealthy, because now we have somebody in the world that is almost a half a trillionaire, it blows my mind that, one person can accumulate that amount of wealth, which is great, kudos to him. But we're getting a lot more multi hundred billion folks out there, What is that doing to businesses people's perception of money and the ultra wealthy?

Erin Gray: 19:11

Some clients will be like I don't want to be like him, just because he has this amount of money and he does this with his money, doesn't mean that's what you are going to do with your money. So I think it comes back to separating yourself, Maybe it's not half a trillion, but maybe it's 10 times more than what you have. And that's okay I think a lot of women are afraid to say I want more money. it's okay to say I want more money because this is how I'm going to use the money. I think, some of that group is almost like a scorecard or like a report card. Oh, I made this now I have this. It's not Oh, now look at what I can do, how I've donated and shared and circulated that money. And that is the difference that I have found sometimes with women is like, they're like, they actually want to like, I want to make more money because I want to be able to, give back to my child's school whenever they ask for donations or something of that. And so there's a difference in, or, take care of parents if they go into assisted living that takes money. it's okay to say, I want to have that money so I can do those things.

Tom Jackobs: 20:15

I heard Warren Buffett said he's giving away like 99 percent of his wealth, but he'd still be a billionaire. And at that point, which is insane, as we grow our wealth, we can do cool things. I love donating money because you do that. It's just, it feels good to be able to do that. And by making more money, you can help more people, which I think is, it's part of that heart-led philosophy that I try to preach here.

Erin Gray: 20:41

My kid is upset. When I told her he wasn't giving any money to his children, she was like, why would he do that? I was like, Grayson, the biggest thing we can do for our children is teach them to generate their own money. But she was very upset that Warren Buffett was not going to give any of his wealth to his children. giving that feels so good. And when it comes from that heart-led place of I want to give because it, and you think about, people will say money is energy, but like when you literally think about that money is going to be used for these children, I have a friend that she has a nonprofit in Africa and they make sanitary pads for the girls. And it's just like thinking about that money gets to be used for those children that now get to continue school because they wouldn't be able to do that had they not had sanitary pads. That is, That gives me chills, and I think that when you can set aside the part of your stories with money that people are bad or people are evil or, money makes you do crazy things and all of these stories that we have around money and we truly look at money from a form of love, like a place of love, what can we do with this money? I think. Slowly, right? It's not overnight, but slowly we can start to change the dynamic of how we interact with money and why you would want to have more money. Because when you have more money, you get to have choice, right? You get to choose where you want to send kids to school. You get to choose if you want to take some time off from your business, you get to choose where to travel and what you want to give to and who you want to give to and hire people in your business. When you can start looking at money of how is the good in it? Because we, I think we've been so focused on what are all the bad things, but money is a tool And when you can look at it from, how is this helpful? Then you can start finding all of the ways that money is actually helpful when you use it, in ways that light up your soul.

Tom Jackobs: 22:38

Absolutely, it doesn't even have to be a charity. Early in January, I took some high performers from my team and we went to a beach in the Philippines and had a really great weekend. And it was for some of them, it was the first time that they were even on an airplane it felt good that the business could afford to treat the high performers to a nice vacation and team building as well. And it just went a really long way. Like I said, if you, if all I was worried about was the heart and not the profit side of the business, that probably would not have happened because we balance profit and heart-led. Life is good and business is good.

Erin Gray: 23:23

Oh, that feels amazing. profit for profit. money doesn't like to be socked away yes, you need cash reserves. take care of yourself, but above and beyond that, having, profit just to have profit, how much more fulfilling is it that you got to experience that with your memory you will have forever and they will have forever. That is so fun to use our money in ways like that.

Tom Jackobs: 23:42

Yeah. Cool. The time has flown by. This has been a fascinating conversation Talking more about money than heart, but that's the point, right? to make sure people realize money doesn't have to be dead. This is separate from a heart-led business. You've done a great job highlighting that today, thank you. How can people learn more about what you do and potentially work with you?

Erin Gray: 24:01

They can go to my website at generatealifewelllived. com and my podcast. I'm changing the name, but it's going to be your money, your roles.

Tom Jackobs: 24:10

Great title. We'll link that in the show notes as well. And Erin, thank you so much again for coming onto the show. I certainly appreciate it.

Erin Gray: 24:19

Thank you, Tom, It was fun.

Tom Jackobs: 24:21

Absolutely. thank you listeners and those watching on YouTube I really appreciate it. And now make sure that you are checking out everything that Aaron is doing. And we're going to provide all that into the show notes, of course. And if you could do me a favor, and that is to share this show with a friend or a colleague that could use the advice that Aaron has shared with us here, that just helps us grow the show and spread the word until next time, bleed with your heart.

Speaker 2: 24:46

You've been listening to the heart-led Business Show, hosted by Tom Jackobs. Join us next time for another inspiring journey into the heart of business.